Primalgirl Opens Up: Hidradenitis Suppurativa Part I

No Gravatar

Warning: This post is graphic and candid. If you are embarrassed by frank, honest discussions of human sexuality and the human body, then this post probably isn’t for you. If you want to learn more about a disease that is connected to Metabolic Syndrome, PCOS, Crohn’s Disease and Insulin Resistance but is rarely talked about, then read on.

This will be a two-part post. In Part One, I will be dealing with what Hidradenitis Suppurativa (HS) is and giving you some background into the disease and the psyche of its sufferers, as well as my story. In Part Two, I will discuss how I got my HS to go into remission. That’s right. My HS symptoms are gone. I have found out what triggers it in me and how to avoid flare-ups. The process is lengthy and requires some sacrifice, but if you suffer from HS I know you are willing to do ANYTHING to get rid of it. However, I encourage you to continue reading. Even if you don’t have this condition, I guarantee you know someone who does. Having some background into the disease can make all the difference in helping someone you love, since they probably won’t tell you how much they are suffering.

I’ve had a condition called Hidradenitis Suppurativa since right after puberty. I didn’t know what it was called for over 15 years and couldn’t find a doctor that even knew what it was until I did considerable research, found the name and told them what it was (my typical experience at the doctors, sadly enough.). I didn’t know anyone else that had it and was too embarrassed to “come out.” I felt alone and isolated. In order to find someone else with the condition, I first had to admit to them that I had it too. The disease caused me considerable pain – both physical and emotional. It damaged my self-esteem while I was growing up and limited the activities I was able to do. It has left me with scars. While the physical scars have faded and disappeared since going Primal, the emotional ones will always be there.

"The LORD will strike you with the same boils that plagued the Egyptians. He will strike you with hemorrhoids, sores, and itching that won't go away." ~ Deuteronomy 28:27

Having a skin condition that looks like herpes on crack in your private areas – your groin, pubic area, buttocks, under your arms or breasts or anywhere where there are hair follicles (so potentially your entire frackin’ body, really) – will definitely affect how you interact with other people. Imagine a girl just going through puberty, with all the stress and problems that puberty normally entails, and then add that frightening skin condition. Imagine going to a doctor to ask what it is and being told that it’s caused by bacteria and the ensuing shame that comes from being told “you aren’t doing a good enough job of cleaning yourself. Down there.” Imagine being told they don’t know what is wrong with you and that they don’t have a solution or treatment. Imagine that you are that girl and your friends are having a pool party. You really want to go but you are afraid that your bathing suit might ride up in the back and someone might see. You don’t go to that party, do you? You don’t change in the locker room either. You don’t go to sleepovers. You are afraid of being intimate. You think that people will think you are diseased, infected, contagious, damaged. Imagine the fragile self-esteem of a teenager who is afraid to reach out for help and who feels isolated and alone. I imagine this is how some gay teenagers must feel. It’s hard having a secret.

This was me. I am lucky that I had parents who constantly built me up in other ways, or God knows how I may have turned out. I’m also lucky I wasn’t raised in a strict religious family, or I may have thought this disease was inflicted upon me by God. After all, doesn’t God give people boils from time to time, for some sin or another? I’m also lucky I didn’t develop OCD about keeping myself clean. I didn’t even tell my supportive, loving family about my disease until I was in my 30s. It turns out they couldn’t have helped with the condition at the time anyway – the doctors couldn’t help. No one knows what causes this disease. No one in Western medicine has a clue. It wasn’t until I went Primal that I noticed an improvement in my condition and it took almost 3 years to fully understand what triggered the outbreaks and to completely avoid them. All the doctors I saw over the years didn’t understand the autoimmune response that HS seems to be. No one ever suggested perhaps it was something I was eating that was causing the outbreaks.

If you want to jump right to pictures, visit DermNet. Please be warned that the pictures are graphic and might contain the occasional penis, vagina, nipple or buttock. After all, these are the areas that are affected most often.

There’s a reason I needed to warn you before you looked at those pictures. They’re fairly horrific. The HS-USA website describes Hidradenitis Suppurativa as follows:

“Hidradenitis Suppurativa (HS), also known as ‘Acne Inversa’, is a physically, psychologically, and socially disabling disease affecting inverse areas of the body (those places where there is skin-to-skin contact – armpits, groin, breasts, etc.), and where apocrine glands and hair follicles are found. It is non-contagious and recurrent; typically manifesting as a progression from single boil-like, pus-filled abscesses, or hard sebaceous lumps, to painful, deep-seated, often inflamed clusters of lesions with chronic seepage (suppuration — hence the name) involving significant scarring.

Abscesses may be as large as baseballs in some people, are extremely painful to the touch and may persist for years with occasional to frequent periods of inflammation, culminating in drainage, often leaving open wounds that will not heal. These ‘flare-ups’ are often triggered by stress, hormonal changes, or humid heat. Drainage of the lumps provides some relief from severe, often debilitating, pressure pain; however, pain occurs 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for HS sufferers during flare-ups, and is difficult to manage.

Persistent lesions may lead to the formation of sinus tracts, or tunnels connecting the abscesses under the skin. At this stage, complete healing is usually not possible, and progression of the disease in the area is inevitable. Occurrences of bacterial infections and cellulites (deep tissue inflammation) are likely at these sites.

Because of the drainage which may have a foul odor, fever and fatigue caused by acute inflammation and the physical restrictions caused by pain and skin deformation, people often cannot work, drive, exercise or even perform day-to-day tasks, and are ashamed to go out in public. HS sufferers may go through severe bouts of depression, avoid public and inter-personal contact, become sedentary and often overweight.

HS typically goes undiagnosed for years because patients are ashamed to speak with anyone. When they do see a doctor, the disease is frequently misdiagnosed. Only relatively few physicians are able to recognize it and even when they do, suggested treatments are often ineffective, temporary and sometimes even harmful. There is no known cure nor any consistently effective treatment; what works for one person may not work for another. In advanced, chronic cases, surgery is often the choice, but recurrences of HS are not uncommon.

Historically, HS has been considered a rare disorder, because it is difficult to accurately estimate the number of HS victims; they conceal their condition, even from friends and close relatives. Estimates, however, indicate at least 1 million – potentially up to 12 million – Hidradenitis Suppurativa sufferers in the United States alone!”

If you don’t have this condition, thank whatever Gods you pray to. Then take a look around. I bet you know at least five – if not more – people that have this disease. I am the only person I know that is willing to talk about it, but once I opened up to a couple of friends, they told me that they had it too! They just didn’t know what it was called, what was causing it or how to get rid of it. My doctor referred me to a dermatologist, who told me there was no cure: “This is a life-long condition that you will have to live with. There is no cure. The only treatment that has been shown to be effective in any way is a daily course of antibiotics. You will, of course, have to take them every day for the rest of your life. Until menopause, anyway. The disease usually ‘burns itself out’ at menopause.” Well, that’s great news for women – perhaps we get a small respite from an incredibly horrible lifetime of pain later on in life, but what about the men? I haven’t read or heard anything else about HS “burning itself out” later in life in any books I’ve read, or even on the forums – just the occasion post-menopausal woman who seems to have the “situation under control.” There are all kinds of crazy theories and medieval-like home remedies out there on the Interwebs for HS (I tried them all), none of which work, some of which are downright dangerous. I’ll deal with these theories in my follow-up post.

My Story:

Right after I got my period at age 13, I started getting little pimples and bumps on my buttocks. They were very embarrassing, but I could clearly tell what they were and I wasn’t sexually active at all, so I knew I didn’t have an STD. I didn’t tell anyone about it, except for my best friend at the time. She also admitted that she got pimples on her bum too, so I thought that it was something fairly normal. About 2 years later I started getting the pimples in my groin area, except that they were more like boils than pimples. The ones on my bum changed too, they were bigger and much more painful. The boils would “erupt” and pus would come out, just like a pimple, except that blood would come out too. They would take weeks to come to a head and months to go away and eventually heal. It was fairly common for another boil to pop up in the same place before the previous one had even finished healing. Of course, they scarred. Badly. If the boil didn’t erupt, it would still take months to go away and would leave a dark spot. (On me, these eventually fade away – but it takes anywhere between 3 months to a year. If you are dark-skinned or scar very easily, you may carry the marks of HS for life.) Strangely, I have never had a single problem with my underarm area. This is usually the most common place for HS to occur but I’ve never had so much as an ingrown hair there.

I went to my doctor and she told me I was suffering from adult acne. Ha! She obviously didn’t have a clue. I didn’t mention it again to another doctor until I was about 30. I went in for my annual exam every year and no doctor ever said, “OMG, what is that?!” so I figured I didn’t have a reason to panic. I had a couple other girlfriends who had complained about boils in their groin area, so I still thought it was fairly normal. They went to their doctor, were given antibiotics and the boil cleared itself up. It’s been decades and I haven’t checked in with these friends to see if they had any more boils pop up over the years. I bet they did.

Over the years, my weight gain increased, as did my depression and other symptoms – including allergies and hair loss – and the HS got worse. I usually had about 3 boils at any given time. I started doing research and found a theory that tied HS to excessive sweating and bacteria. Since I was overweight, I did sweat more than the average person. I decided to shave off my pubic hair (against all the popular advice) to see if that would help and it actually did – I stopped getting flare ups in my groin but then got them worse on my behind. I also had a horrible problem with ingrown hairs, something I had never experienced before. I tried every remedy and cream on the market and nothing helped.

I now suspect that my ingrown hairs were caused by inflammation. Once I had my insulin and inflammation under control, I no longer got ingrown hairs. A short side note: I will also get ingrown hairs/breakouts in my nose if I eat something inflammatory, they are probably the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced. They are the first sign my body gives me to tell me I’m experiencing inflammation. The next is acne, canker sores and achy joints. At the time, I was also breaking out with cystic acne on my face. The pimples were almost identical to the ones on my bum and would take over a month to resolve. The dermatologist told me that you “can’t get HS on your face.” End of story – for her. It wasn’t for me. When I got my HS under control, the ingrown hairs AND the acne also went away. In my experience doctors like to compartmentalize problems – there’s no way that anything could possibly be connected. It is this mentality that slowed my recovery by over a decade. If a single doctor had just taken a look at the bigger picture instead of trying to treat everything individually, I may have been cured years ago.

Now that you have some background into what Hidradenitis Suppurativa is and the psyche of it’s sufferers, subscribe to this blog to learn how I got my HS to go into remission. I’ll be posting Part 2 of this series later on this week. With a Primal/Paleo diet and lifestyle and a little record keeping, it is possible.

Primalgirl Reveals: Where I’ve Been

No Gravatar

It’s been a while. Don’t worry, I haven’t fallen off the Paleo bandwagon, I’m still way on board. I’ve just been busy. Super busy. I have three jobs, not including Primal/Paleo blogger/advice giver and time is precious.

What I’ve Been Doing:

1. I opened up my own business making custom retro aprons and dresses. I have an ETSY store, but at the moment have been so overwhelmed with orders from home that I haven’t posted items yet. I’ll do that soon and I will be posting a link here – after all, if you’re spending a lot of time in the kitchen making delicious Paleo meals, you need to look cute. Show off that cute new body. ^.~ (If you want to order something personally, email me.

2. I’m on the speaker support team for PaleoFX in Austin, Texas in March. I’ve been assigned to the speaker support team and assigned to one of the biggest names on the roster, so I am honored and super excited. PaleoFX is March 14-17. The PaleoFX team is offering free tickets for coaches and trainers so check out their website for the referral program or to get tickets for yourself. This is a great, practical conference for people interested in LIVING a Paleo lifestyle. I’ll have lots of time to relax and enjoy the conference so I’ll be posting a great deal about what I learn.

3. I’m presenting at Mark Sisson’s PrimalCon in Malibu in April. I’m a little nervous about this one, as I simply see myself as a regular person who reads a lot of books written by other people and experiments on herself. I don’t know why I get to stand up there with the experts and the rock stars, but I’ll take it. ;)

4. I’m doing tons of modeling and making a lot of my own outfits. Super satisfying but damn, it takes a lot of time and preparation. I did get noticed by Sharon Osborne the other night at a taping of America’s Got Talent, though. She actually came over to me to tell me that she “just loved my outfit.” Gush! That made the 2 weeks of frustration, pricked hands and endless ironing all worth it. I wished I had had time to tell her that I made it myself and I would totally make her one, too but she was whisked off by Howard Stern, who frankly resembles Tom Baker circa 1974 these days. I am going to knit him a Doctor Who scarf, I swear to God.

5. I have three-year old twins. If I thought I was overwhelmed before, I was mistaken. Potty training is insane. Cooking every single meal for a family of four from scratch is super time consuming too. Please believe me when I tell you I understand when you cave and go through the drivethru. I understand. But I just can’t bring myself to do it.

What I Have Planned:

1. A follow-up video post to my Paleo Beauty Secrets post. I’ve had such an overwhelming response to this post I would like to take you all on a week-long journey in the life of my hair, ha ha. Seriously, I’ll edit it down. ^.^ (Some people want to know if I’m “real” – this will be your chance to confirm/deny my transformation. Note: While you’re reading that, make sure to check out how lank and flat my hair was before I went Primal.)

2. An honest post about Hidradenitis Suppurativa. I’ve cured mine but don’t often talk about it because it’s so embarrassing. However, it’s time to pull this one out of the closet. Not only am I cured without any sort of medication whatsoever, but I have found the specific trigger food group that causes flareups in me. If you suffer from HS, you will want to read this post. If you’re not sure what HS is, read this information from the Mayo Clinic. I bet you know at least 5 people with this condition – but they won’t tell you about it. I will. They say there is no cure. There is.

3. A post about PCOS. Mine is gone. I don’t take ANY medication. Peggy the Primal Parent also has some great info on PCOS, I’ll be linking to her. I no longer have any symptoms of PCOS and believe me, I had them ALL.

4. I have some great new recipes, including chicken nuggets and fishsticks, that, while they may not be strictly Paleo, definitely can be fit into a Primal lifestyle. I have also been asked for lists of foods that I eat, so I’m going to take you through a week of my diet.

5. Guest posts. Many of you are on a Primal/Paleo journey as well and I’d love to hear from you. If you would like to do a guest post, please email me!

N=Primalgirl: Sleep Issues & Vitamin D

No Gravatar

First off, I’m moving this blog to www.primalgirl.com lickedy split. I can transfer all my email subscribers over but I can’t transfer everyone, so if you don’t receive a newsletter from me announcing my next post by next week, feel free to hop on over to www.primalgirl.com and re-subscribe. In fact, do it now. :) The site’ll be a little disorganized for a few weeks, but I should have it under control soon.

Second, I discovered something cool I want to share with you. Obviously what works for me isn’t going to work for everyone but I think I made an important connection between Vitamin D and sleep quality that I’ve never heard mentioned before. Correct me if I’m wrong, I haven’t read everything out there.

Jimmy Moore has a great post about N=1 experiments and why they're so important

The major thing I took away from the Ancestral Health Symposium is that self-experimentation and the dissemination of said results is the absolute key to helping others find their Paleo solution. We have to experiment on ourselves to tweak what is optimal for us, and sometimes we just can’t think of what to tweak. For those of you that haven’t heard of it, these experiments are being referred to as N=1.

You may remember from a post long ago that I was having problems sleeping. I tried pretty much everything that was recommended – even resorted to eating sweet potatoes before bed – to no avail. I knew how important light exposure after dark was so I made sure I limited it. At this time I was taking about 6000U of Vitamin D3 a day. My sleep improved somewhat when my stress level declined, but I was still waking up a couple times a night and a lot of mornings felt pretty damned tired. During this time, I went pretty strict Paleo, bumped my Vitamin D intake up to 10,000U a day, upped the fish oil as per Robb Wolf’s fish oil calculator, dropped a couple workouts per week and headed off to the Symposium. I was feeling freakin’ fantastic during the day once I got going, but was still sleeping like shit.

Enter Dr. Seth Roberts. He is a strange little man, if I’ve ever met one. He stands on one leg to improve his sleep. He swears it works. (I tried it, couldn’t get through two days.) In fact, he did a scientific experiment on it. (Click here for some of his other experiments. They are unconventional to say the least. The one that proves butter makes you smarter is gold.) I asked Dr. Roberts about my sleep quality. He recommended all sorts of things, one of them being getting at least one full hour of sunshine first thing in the morning. Not 2 hours after you get up or in the afternoon – first thing in the morning. He was very clear about that. I hadn’t thought about the time of day I was getting sun, but it made a lot of sense that that would be the optimal time to get it, if you were to get any at all. Unfortunately, there was no way for me to actually do this – my current life is such that the first hour of my morning is spent dressing children for preschool, changing diapers, making coffee, breakfast, checking email.

One day as I was taking my supplements, I was thinking about how many units of Vitamin D your skin produces in 30 minutes of sun (20,000 I believe). I looked aghast at the 10,000 units of Vitamin D I was taking. It was 7 o’clock at night! I was essentially giving my body 15 minutes worth of bright sunlight energy. No wonder I was waking up in the middle of the night! I was telling my body that it wasn’t really time for bed, it was still the middle of the day. I wondered what would happen if I only took my Vitamin D first thing in the morning. It wouldn’t be an hour naked in the sun, but 15 minutes is better than nothing. That night I slept like shit. Worse than normal.

I usually took my supplements mid-afternoon. I vowed to take them first thing every morning. If I forgot, I would not take the Vitamin D at all that day. I tried it the next day and that night I slept like a rock. And the next night. And the next. Days I forgot and skipped the D3, I still slept great. That was the only change I made to my lifestyle and my sleep issues completely resolved.

Now, this may seem really fucking obvious to you. It wasn’t to me and I bet some of you are smacking your palms against your foreheads right now. The thought had never once crossed my mind. Everyone suggests taking supplements, but I’ve never heard anyone mention the optimal time to take them, or if they can affect other aspects of your life if taken at the wrong time.

If you are having sleep issues, please try this and let us know if it worked for you! Of course, you should always sleep in a completely darkened room, avoid caffeine in the afternoon/evening, eat a Paleo/Primal diet and go to bed early for optimal sleep. But if you’ve tried everything and you’re still having issues, try this. Or you can try standing on one leg.

New Book: The Primal Blueprint 21-Day Total Body Transformation

No Gravatar

I’ve got a special announcement today. Mark Sisson, author of The Primal Blueprint, has a brand new book out called The Primal Blueprint 21-Day Total Body Transformation. It’s a practical, action-oriented guide for how to eat, exercise and live Primally – a step-by-step, “cut to the chase” resource to make a smooth and quick transition into a Primal lifestyle. In it he tells you exactly what to do every day for 21 days to take control of your health for the rest of your life. Mark explains what this new book is all about, what’s in it and who it’s for here. Also, if you turn to the back cover, you’ll see someone very familiar – ME! That’s right, I’m featured in Mark’s new book and I couldn’t be prouder.

Mark is looking to score this book on the New York Times best-seller list to gain exposure for the Primal Blueprint message, so he’s put together a loaded special offer. Basically, you order 1 or more copies between October 18 and 24, email your receipt to a special email address and Mark kicks you back a bunch of freebies. It’s a win-win. You get a great book for less than 15 bucks, and a bunch of free gifts, and you and Mark both get to help take the Primal movement mainstream. Check out the details of Mark’s special offer below and pick up a copy of the book today.

What Do I Win for Helping Put This Book on the NYT Best-Seller List?

Order 1 Copy and You Get:

1. Access to the exclusive, password-protected ebook – “Primal Living in the REAL World”: Hundreds of Primal enthusiasts share their challenges, solutions and practical tips for how they get – and stay – Primal. It’s like having the advice of 300 coaches. In it you’ll read hundreds of answers to these and numerous other questions: What is the first thing a person should do to kick start their Primal life? What do you think is the most important thing one should understand as they attempt to go Primal? What was the biggest hurdle you experienced when going Primal and how did you overcome it? And of course, the most important one, What do you usually eat for breakfast?

2. Access to the exclusive, password-protected audio interview – “21-Day Total Body Transformation”:
Download a 60 minute, free-wheeling Q&A podcast in which Mark discusses the 8 Key Concepts that everyone needs to know to go Primal. Among many other topics covered, Mark discusses why your body prefers burning fat over carbohydrates and how you can use this knowledge to become a fat-burning beast instead of a sugar burner. Also, listen to Mark riff on why grains are totally unnecessary and why 80 percent of your body composition is determined by how you eat.

3. $10 Gift Certificate to PrimalBlueprint.com: Spend it like cash and order whatever you want, perhaps a cookbook to go with the 21-Day Transformation book? This means for a net 5 bucks you can grab a copy of Mark’s new book today.

Order 3 (Or More) Copies and You Get:

1. All the aforementioned benefits – the $10 Gift Certificate, the exclusive eBook and podcast, plus…

2. Audio recording of the original Primal Blueprint (released in 2009) – Listen to The Primal Blueprint on your phone or MP3 player with this abridged, digital (MP3) audio book voiced by Mark. This is the book that started it all and retails for $26.99. Grab 3 or more copies of the the 21-Day Total Body Transformation and you’ll get it for free.

3. Plus an additional $10 Gift Certificate to PrimalBlueprint.com, bringing the total to $20.

Order 8 (Or More) Copies and Help Change The World!

Oh, and do your holiday shopping early. One common frustration from Primal enthusiasts is how to get friends and loved ones on board. This book is the perfect calling card to introduce someone to the Primal Blueprint. Why not reduce the hassle of holiday shopping and give each of your deserving friends and loved ones the gift of life transformation?

Buy 8 or more books through mainstream channels and Mark will send you 50 percent of your order quantity in bonus books! Buy eight and Mark will send you four more. Buy 80 and he’ll send you 40 more – seriously…and he’ll autograph each one of the free books! And, of course, you’ll get all the aforementioned freebies.

100 copies – Personal Touch: Private 30-minute consultation over the telephone with Mark. Yes, you also get the 50 free signed books!

1,000 copies – Executive Decision: Mark will fly out to your location and spend the day helping get your employees Primal!

How Do I Win?

1. Order your book(s) online
or at your local bookstore before midnight Monday, Oct 24.

2. Email your receipt to the appropriate email address:

If you purchase 1-2 copies email your receipt to 1book@primalblueprint.com
If you purchase 3-7 copies email your receipt to 3books@primalblueprint.com
If you purchase 8 or more copies email the confirmation that your order has shipped to 8books@primalblueprint.com
To reiterate, for 8 or more books, please email Mark the confirmation that your order has shipped (not your initial email receipt) to the appropriate email address above. Also, please include your shipping address so Mark knows where to ship your free books. Please allow 30 days for processing and shipping of your free books. Mark’s going to have a lot of books to sign!

Low-techies can fax receipt copy to 310-317-4424.

3. You will receive your e-gift certificate, eBook download instructions, podcast download instructions, and all other freebies by reply email. (Please be patient. The Worker Bees will be reviewing receipts and sending you instructions on how to access all of your freebies within 24 hours.)

If you have any questions about ordering, or this promotion, please call 888-774-6259 (or 310-317-4414).

Fine Print:

Unfortunately, Kindle and other digital books don’t count toward the NY Times best-seller list, nor this promotion.
Books purchased in physical locations (e.g. a brick-and-mortar Barnes & Noble) count, too. Just scan and email your receipt to the appropriate email address above, or fax it to 310-317-4424.
This offer only applies to book orders placed in the United States.
Order Your Copy of The Primal Blueprint 21-Day Total Body Transformation Today!

Primalgirl Goes to the Hospital Part II: Meal Time

No Gravatar

I can be an obstinate bitch. It has served me well over the years, as I also know how to temper that trait in certain situations and am most willing to relax my views if loved ones or friends are concerned. However, take me, add pain and a healthy dollop of morphine, stir in a little fright at major abdominal surgery, add a dozen doctors who all have their heads up their asses, and you’re just going to get the obstinate bitch. For the full story, check out yesterday’s post. For those of you that aren’t interested in hearing the full rant of how I stayed Paleo in the hospital, there’s a checklist at the bottom of the post, most of which you can also apply when you are eating out at a restaurant.

First off, let me say I was in a military hospital. The military must follow strict USDA guidelines when it comes to food, so according to them I was offered nothing but top-notch quality nutrition during my stay.

Ha ha ha ha hah ah ahaha hah ahahahahaha ha. ah. *wheeze*

Now that THAT’S out of the way, let’s move on to business.

I think hospital food has a worse reputation than airplane fare for a reason: it’s fucking horrible. And when I say horrible, I mean, I wouldn’t let my next-door neighbor’s pets consume this shit. For the first three days, they tried to keep me on a clear liquid diet. This consisted of: chicken broth (from a package. There was no actual chicken in it, but there was, however, MSG and soy) and red Jell-O, complete with both 30 grams of sugar per 1/4 cup and Red Dye No. 40. There was “lemonade,” which also had soy in it and surprisingly no lemon, and two pints of apple juice flown all the way from CHINA, so I’m sure there was lead in there. Needless to say, I was not starved enough to consider any of this “food” so I opted for water.

First off, if you’re in the hospital, chances are you’re weak. Hopefully you have an I/V pumping you full of liquids. Keep in mind that if this is the case, you don’t actually need to eat for a while. The I/V liquids will keep you alive long enough for your friends or family to bring you things. If you don’t have anyone to bring you food, then there are clever ways to trick the hospital staff into helping you stay Paleo.

The first thing I did was tell them I was ALLERGIC to the following items: wheat, corn, soy, dairy. If I had told them I don’t eat soy due to personal choice, or that dairy gives me zits, they wouldn’t have taken me seriously. However, when I claim a food ALLERGY, they have to take me seriously. I suggest you do this. Those of you that don’t like to lie, get over it. I lie every time I go to a restaurant. The fear of being sued is the only way I can make sure I don’t get sick. It’s sad, but true. You also have to be prepared to fast. This also holds true in a restaurant. I can’t tell you the number of times that I have asked for a gluten-free item and when it cannot be provided, I have stood up and left, or have sat there glaring at the manager with an empty plate in front of me. It takes balls and determination, but they will usually try to accommodate you if you look hungry enough.

The second thing I did was ask for lemon juice and packets of salt. They were able to provide both. Was it the high quality iodized sea salt or organic lemon juice I have at home? No, it wasn’t. But you know what, when you’re in a foreign environment, you hunt and gather what you can and make the best of it. Equipped with my lemon juice and salt, I made my sugar-free sports drink. When the doctors asked what I was doing, they were actually fairly impressed. This drink held me over until the real food arrived. If I had eaten their miserable offerings, I actually would have been worse off as it would have led to blood-sugar crashes.

By the end of the second day in the hospital, I had already decided that there was no way in hell these quacks were operating on me so I said “screw your liquid diet, I’m eating.” Luckily, my husband had a text message with instructions on what to bring. The first wave of food included:

  • scrambled eggs
  • avocados
  • organic lime juice
  • Vitamin D, fish oil and probiotics

I already had my stevia in my purse. I also asked him to bring my copy of Wheat Belly by William Davis, MD. I didn’t actually read it while I was there, but I had it predominantly displayed on my table like the obnoxious little brat I am.

I couldn’t eat a lot of the scrambled eggs because my stomach had shrunk so much, but I ate some and they made me feel better, stronger, almost immediately. The next morning, the hospital decided I could eat solid foods (since I was already eating them, ha ha ha) so they offered me the following: toast, muffin, bagel and cream cheese, eggs, fruit and coffee. Wait! Eggs, fruit and coffee? Bring it on.

The coffee was hospital coffee. It was terrible, but it was enough to get rid of my caffeine headache. I immediately texted my husband with an order for more. The fruit was a banana and an apple. Normally, I would not have eaten either but I wasn’t in a normal situation. I needed some calories. I opened up the styrofoam container of eggs and smelled them. They smelled…funny. Off. Not natural. I took the smallest bite and had my suspicions confirmed. They were, indeed, powdered eggs. Now, if I hadn’t eaten in weeks and didn’t know where my next source of protein was coming from, I would have eaten them. In fact, just three years ago, I wouldn’t have been able to tell the difference. My refined palate now balked at the prospect sitting in front of me, however, and I wondered what decade the chickens who had originally birthed these “eggs” had lived in. I couldn’t eat them. Thankfully, I had some eggs from home left over from the night before, so I ate those. Otherwise, I would have eaten the banana and apple and called it good.

Lunch was the saddest chicken breast you’ve ever seen, served with decimated carrots and rice. Everything had this weird seasoning on it. I smelled it closely and the childhood memories of Shake ‘N’ Bake came rushing back. This smell, along with the package of saltine crackers on the side, was enough to make alarm bells go off. Oh, and the state of the chicken breast. I mean, COME ON. Did they leave it by the side of the road to dry out before serving it? I wish I’d taken a picture but I was too sick. This was supposed to be a gluten-free meal, but obviously someone didn’t get the memo. Or, more correctly, they had no fucking idea what gluten was. There was a sad little salad that I just picked up by the handful and shoved into my mouth. The low-fat packaged dressing contained soy, something else I had told them I was allergic to. I didn’t touch the rest of the meal and the nurse looked worried when she collected the tray.

For those of you that don’t know, I do something called intermittent fasting quite often. Eating breakfast doesn’t usually fit into my schedule and I’m just not hungry so most days, I skip it. I eat when I get hungry or whenever it’s convenient later in the day. I can only do this because my blood sugar and insulin levels are regulated; I don’t recommend it for anyone just starting out on their Paleo journey. So skipping a meal here and there doesn’t have a detrimental effect on me. The hospital staff didn’t know this and they were freaking out that I was going to waste away. It was at this point that the hospital dietician (and I use that word loosely) came to visit me. She told me that the only reason she knew what “gluten-free” was was that her best friend had Celiac disease. Otherwise, she confessed, she would have no idea.

The most important part of staying Paleo or Primal in a foreign environment is asking questions. Lots and lots of stupid questions, including things you shouldn’t have to ask. But, thanks to the clever marketing of packaged foods in this country and the misinformation provided by the USDA, you have to. First off, I confirmed that the eggs were indeed powdered. There were no other options available to me for breakfast other than grits (WTF are those anyway) or oatmeal, so I resigned myself to coffee for the remainder of my stay. (I actually asked for the fruit but stockpiled it like a squirrel and later took it home for the kids. Eating nothing but fruit would have made me hungrier than nothing at all. It’s funny how that works, but that’s how it is for me.)

Second, we discussed lunch for the following day. My options were hamburgers and fries or beef stroganoff. The dietician confirmed there was flour in the stroganoff, which contained wheat noodles anyway, but that the hamburger patties were 100% beef. Okay, 100% CAFO beef, but it was protein. I couldn’t afford to be that picky at this point; holding out for pasture-raised organic beef, lamb or goat was just not in the cards. The fries had wheat in them too, and were also fried in soy oil. Yum! I asked for four hamburger patties wrapped in lettuce leaves, with mustard. (They had mayonnaise but it was soy based.) My drink choices consisted of the following: soda, fruit punch, fruit juice, Crystal Lite and water. I asked for water, but they brought me the Crystal Lite instead. I’m glad I didn’t touch it, as I later confirmed in the grocery store that the number one ingredient is maltodextrin, a substance that makes my body freak out.

I asked for 10 of those little gold packages of butter, planning on just eating them whole, but was told they only had margarine. When I inquired as to why they would willingly feed their patients hydrogenated trans fats, I was told that they were healthier than saturated fats. I didn’t have to energy to argue this. At this point, I was way more concerned with MY health and couldn’t care less about the rest of the patients. I knew I had a couple avocados on stand-by, and they would do nicely for the fat I needed. Had I been thinking clearly, I would have asked my husband to bring a jar of coconut oil, which I would have eaten by the spoonful as the doctors looked on in horror.

Dinner was actually great. I asked them to do a special meal for me. My choices were pork or chicken. Knowing what the chicken looked like, I opted for the pork – a meat I rarely, if ever, even buy unless it’s 100% organic, cruelty-free. I asked for no seasonings. The sauce that came with the pork had wheat, corn AND soy in it (how do they even manage that) so sauce was out. I actually had a choice of vegetables – carrots, corn (ha!) and asparagus. Asparagus?! Wait, that’s a legitimate vegetable! What the hell was going on? I asked for a triple serving of asparagus, with no seasonings, along with the pork. And that was dinner.

For breakfast the next morning, I ate two avocados and a banana. They filled me up quite nicely and I didn’t even want lunch. I asked for the same dinner again: pork and asparagus. For some reason, they never quite updated their computers so every mealtime, I was brought the clear, liquid diet tray. I have to admit, I wanted to eat the Jell-O. I didn’t. But I wanted to. I was so freakin’ bored and was mostly through the final season of Battlestar Galactica. There was nothing left to do but eat.

At some point during my stay, I also ate some leftover Chicken and Artichokes with Garlic Sauce (from Mark Sisson’s latest cookbook, Primal Blueprint Quick & Easy Meals, p. 111) that my husband brought from home. He heated it up for me in the staff lounge’s microwave and the hospital staff all wanted the recipe. That’s how good this stuff is.

At some point (probably upon admittance to the hospital) this almost became a game for me. I refused to back down on any of my principles, and would have rather starved than give in. It was extremely difficult to stay Paleo, and I would not have been able to do it without my husband’s help. It was quite eye-opening to me to see just how bad nutrition could be in a place of “healing,” but I felt it was my civic duty to shake things up a bit. I’m sure the staff was more than happy to see me leave but I couldn’t care less. How they could call themselves doctors, nurses, healers is beyond me. All they are doing is treating symptoms caused by BigAgri and BigPharma in the first place. Not getting to the root of problems or practicing preventative medicine. Just treating symptoms.

Making the most of a shitty situation.

So here is a checklist if you ever find yourself in the hospital. Some of these will also work at a restaurant.

  • If you don’t have one, feign a food allergy or two. If you do, stress it.
  • Bring food from home to round out your meal. Suggestions are avocados, nuts, fruit and coconut oil, or if you’re lucky, leftovers or even fresh meals prepared by your loved ones. You could even have olive oil and vinegar brought in.
  • Add lemon/lime juice and a pinch of salt to your water. I add stevia, too, cause I like it sweet.
  • Ask to speak to the dietician (or manager in a restaurant). Tell them you want to work with them. Ask for detailed ingredients in any item that isn’t a whole food. Ask questions. Over and over and over.
  • Stick to your guns. Be prepared to skip a meal or two on principle.
  • Lower your standards a bit. You’re not going to get organic meat. Deal with it.
  • Take your supplements! Don’t forget probiotics, Vitamin D and fish oil.
  • Stick with whole foods: whatever meat you can get your hands on and vegetables. Ask what stuff is fried in.
  • If you’re lucky enough to get butter, put it on everything. Otherwise, use coconut oil if you can get some. If not, look at this as a weight loss opportunity. O_o
  • Don’t use their condiments. If you do, make sure you read the labels first. Almost everything has wheat, soy or corn in it.
  • They have a microwave and a fridge somewhere. Ask to use it.
  • Remember that your health is at stake and it will take you much longer to heal if you give in and eat that bagel/donut/hamburger/whatever.
  • Don’t use precious energy trying to teach everyone the dangers of whole grains and the joys of saturated fats. They are like brainwashed zombies. You are not going to get through to any of them. After all, you’re the one who is sick. They’re secretly thinking that you’re sick because you eat saturated fat and not enough wheat.
I hope that none of you find yourself in the hospital any time soon. Eating a Paleo/Primal diet is a great way to stay healthy, but sometimes a trip to the ER is unavoidable. Remember that you are in charge of your health, your body, what happens to it and what goes into it. Ask questions. Tell them you’re interested in your health and your diagnosis. Google stuff they tell you. Ask for second opinions. Employ the help of friends and family. And try your hardest to stay the fuck out of the hospital in the first place.

Primalgirl Goes to the Hospital

No Gravatar

First off I’ll have to apologize in advance for my grammar, spelling and language. I’m currently sitting in a hospital bed, high off my ass on morphine with my dominant arm in a splint and in incredible pain, despite the narcotics.

How did I get here, you ask? I mistakenly called 911 for severe abdominal pain. I’ve been in the hospital for 3 days now.  I should have taken my chances that I didn’t have acute appendicitis and sweated it out at home.

Late Wednesday evening, I started getting severe abdominal pain – a type of pain that I recognized from my pre-Paleo days: gas pain. I knew I hadn’t eaten anything with wheat in it so I didn’t know what was going on, but I figured that I would pass the gas sometime in the night and would be better in the morning.

By the time the morning came around, I couldn’t walk. I stayed in bed and my husband took the kids to daycare and went to work. When he came home at 5 p.m. I was still in bed. I was in so much pain that I couldn’t even get up for a glass of water. Once he realized I was running a fever and that the pain was getting worse, my husband called 911.

At first I felt like a fool going to the hospital for what I was sure was gas pain. But when I realized that I looked 8 months pregnant and hadn’t been able to actually pass any gas for almost 24 hours, I didn’t feel so stupid. When the nurse asked me what my pain

Mmm...looks like cereal. Dig in, America!

level was on a scale of 1-10, I could honestly answer 15.  I vaguely recall shouting obscenities at the attending technicians and sobbing uncontrollably as they insensitively bumped my stomach, jostled me around and then left me on a gurney by myself for almost an hour.

An ultrasound and CT scan later, they were no closer to finding out what was wrong with me, except to tell me that any theory I had was incorrect. They were the only ones who knew anything about medicine and how dare I have an opinion. I was pretty sure I had some sort of bowel obstruction, since I had had gas pain before and while it was similar to this, there was no comparison in the intensity. Here is what they told me was going on:

  1. You have appendicitis.
  2. You don’t have appendicitis. We don’t know what’s going on.
  3. You have an abdominal abscess. We are going to have to operate and it’s not going to be pretty.
  4. You don’t have an abdominal abscess. You have dilated fallopian tubes that are filled with fluid. We’re going to have to take out your ovaries.
  5. You don’t have dilated fallopian tubes. You have TWO abdominal abscesses. We’re going to do laparoscopic surgery, and will probably have to remove your ovaries, your fallopian tubes AND your uterus.
  6. You don’t have any abdominal abscesses. We don’t know what’s going on.
  7. You can’t possibly have a bowel obstruction. You are too young for that. Besides, you don’t WANT to have a bowel obstruction. Do you know what the treatment is for that? We have to split you from stern to stem, spread you wide open and clean you out. (I swear to fucking GOD, this is a direct quote.)
  8. We’re going to observe you for days and control your pain while we continue to pump you full of life-saving antibiotics. We don’t know what’s going on.
  9. You have an intestinal infection, probably from something you ate. It caused extreme bloating and distention and probably a small bowel obstruction.
  10. You don’t have any markers in your blood for infection. We actually gave you antibiotics because your white blood count was higher than normal, you had a fever and we assumed you had an infection. But you didn’t.
  11. You have pelvic inflammatory disease. We’re running STD tests. By the way, your white blood cell count has now dropped to dangerously low levels. Probably because of the antibiotics we gave you.
  12. You don’t have PID. You don’t have any STDs. We finally reviewed images from your records four years ago that show the same damage to your fallopian tubes and the same mysterious “abscesses” we’re seeing today. The picture looks exactly the same. We still don’t know what’s going on.
  13. We are unable to diagnose you. We’re going to write that you have the stomach flu and discharge you, even though you are now leucopenic with white blood cells lower than those of a chemo patient. Good luck and don’t touch your kids!

I knew from past experience that most doctors won’t actually listen to you if you have any theories as to what is wrong with you. In fact, a lot of doctors I’ve seen will outright refuse to investigate my ideas, simply because: (please pick one of the following 5 options or feel free to combine them to create your own) 1) it wasn’t their idea 2) they’re insulted that Google is smarter than they are 3) they secretly feel ashamed that they haven’t read a medical journal ever 4) they want to feel smarter than their patients 5) they’re egotistical pricks who don’t really want to get to the bottom of the issue, they just want to peddle drugs.

I’ve never been one to just sit back and let some doctor tell me something I happen to know is complete bullshit.  Somewhere between “you have appendicitis” and “you might have lupus” I told them that I refused to let them operate on me unless they could give me a definitive diagnosis, that I wanted a second opinion and that after three days of not being allowed to eat, I was going to fucking eat whether they wanted me to or not. And I wasn’t going to eat their MSG-laden broth from a packet. I was going to eat pastured MEAT. Oh yes, I was the problem patient.

And you know what? I’m glad I was or else I would be recovering from a pointless surgery right now, having lost my ovaries and uterus for no fucking reason whatsoever. Sure, it would have been great to not have periods anymore, but that isn’t reason enough to let them do experimental, exploratory surgery on me without any official diagnosis.

I was lucky enough to have one doctor on staff during this debacle who is actually against surgery, except for life threatening cases. Otherwise, I would be telling a much different story right now.

The reason I’m telling you all this is simple: whether you’re at the hospital or the doctors, delivering a baby or donating blood, you have to stand up for yourself! You are the only one who knows your body and how it’s supposed to feel. This crack team of doctors weren’t willing to investigate my theory until the third day in the hospital, when they still couldn’t diagnose me. They didn’t review

I would have been better off with natural remedies.

my medical records until the fourth. At the end of it all it could have been a case of too many cooks ruining the broth – a team of doctors, all with different specialties, who all saw something different in the blood work. It’s amazing how subjective diagnosis can be – so honestly, why can’t YOURS be the right one? It seems to be the case in my story.

I could have died by going to the hospital. I’m not saying you shouldn’t go if you have acute pain, a broken limb or a gunshot wound, but most minor aliments can be taken care of by your own body. That’s right. Your very own immune system is fantastic at sorting things out. At the moment, my immune system is so compromised by western medicine that if a bug sneezed on me, I could get very sick. My WBC levels are starting to increase on their own and I’m confident that they’ll be back to better than normal fairly quickly, since I take care of myself and eat properly. Speaking of which, eating Primally at the hospital: if I can do that, you can manage to stay Paleo at a restaurant. Tomorrow, I’ll tell you what I did.

 

The Amazing Ability of Trans Fats: We Won’t Get Fooled Again

No Gravatar

If you eat a Paleo diet, you know all about trans fats, I’m sure. However, many people still don’t get it, believe it or not. There’s a reason companies use trans fats in their processed foods and a reason why they want to continue to do so, even though the public at large is screaming for them to stop. Check out this video and you will be scouring labels to make sure you never consume it again. (Or better yet, eat a Paleo/Primal diet and you won’t have to waste time reading labels.)

Do I look familiar? I’m sure you’ve seen me around
Companies like using trans fats in their foods because they’re easy to use, inexpensive to produce and last a long time. They give foods a desirable taste and texture. Most restaurants and fast-food outlets use trans fats to deep-fry foods because oils with trans fats can be used many times in commercial fryers. The food industry uses different names for trans fats in their packaging. These include margarine, partially hydrogenated vegetable oil, partially hydrogenated vegetable shortening, and shortening. If the ingredients on the package list any of these items, the food contains trans fats, no matter what the nutrition label says.

Don’t be fooled by the rocks that I got
Watch out for foods that proclaim to have ‘Zero Grams of Trans Fats per Serving!’ Check out the ingredients and then check out the serving size. This claim takes advantage of the FDA regulation that allows rounding to zero any ingredients that account for less than 0.5 grams per serving. “Reduction of serving sizes to implement this type of misinformation became more frequent when the new FDA regulations requiring disclosure of trans fats went into effect in 2006.”Change the serving size from 3 to 2 cookies and voila! You have less than 0.5 grams of trans fats per serving and you are legally allowed to proclaim that your food has ‘zero grams of trans fat.’ They must think we’re really stupid.

Meet the new boss, same as the old boss
That ‘mom and pop’ restaurant you eat at on Sunday morning more than likely fries your eggs and potatoes in trans fats to save money and to make them taste better. After all, they have to keep up with the fast food industry, which you can bet your ass uses trans fats in almost everything. Ask a restaurant to fry your food in butter and see what their response is. A lot of restaurants can’t do that anymore because they don’t have real butter on hand. Ask before you eat. If they can’t accommodate you, don’t eat there. I’ve even tried bringing my own butter or coconut oil to small restaurants, and they won’t touch it.

Does anybody wonder? Anybody care?
It’s trans fats, not saturated fats, that kill you. Your body doesn’t know what to do with artificial ingredients, trans fats or chemicals. Eat Paleo and you will avoid this garbage 100% of the time. For more information, ScientificPsychic has a great breakdown of nutrition labels. You’ll find the info on trans fats on page 3. 

References:
1. http://www.scientificpsychic.com/fitness/labels2.html

Song Credits:
1. Lee Ann Womack – The Fool
2. Jennifer Lopez – Jenny From the Block
3. The Who – Won’t Get Fooled Again
4. Def Leppard – Foolin’

Using Your Brain

use-your-brain No Gravatar

Dinner tonight had me thinking. As I made grass-fed hamburger patties, I was thinking about how I used to believe that hamburgers had to have bread crumbs and an egg in them in order for them to stay together. I know where I got that idea: from my mom. She got that idea from her mom. My grandmother was probably adding bread crumbs to the ground beef in order to stretch out a pound of beef for eight people and needed the egg to bind it all together.

It wasn’t until I met my husband that I questioned why I was adding extra ingredients to the meat. Up until then, I thought it was mandatory. My husband told me that his family didn’t add anything to their ground beef and it stayed together just fine. I told him he was crazy, there’s no way that would work. So, I tried it, bent on proving him wrong.

Lo and behold, it worked.  Really well, in fact. I called my mom; she took some convincing. I could tell that she didn’t really believe me until she tried it for herself.

The point of this post? Questioning the things we do. Everyone has something they do just because someone once told them it was the best way, the only way, or that doing it otherwise would result in disaster. We learn things from other people on a daily basis and seldom stop to consider the validity before we file it as “gospel” and pass it on to others. I actually like that my mom didn’t believe me until she had tried making hamburgers for herself; you shouldn’t believe everything you hear.

Question something. Think about what you “know” and where you learned it from. In The Primal Blueprint, Mark Sisson outlines “Using Your Brain” as one of the 10 Primal Blueprint Laws and says that “numerous studies of general intelligence qualities identify curiosity as one of the most profound markers and nurturers of intelligence.”[1]

We got to where we are as a nation by blindly following misinformation. We’re riddled with disease, obesity and inflammation because we are doing what we were told was right. Some of us have begun to question things and are finding better ways for ourselves. It doesn’t have to be something huge – just start by questioning something. Get curious.

Disclaimer:
I’m not talking about questioning things like whether or not a seat belt will save your life. Please don’t put yourself or your family in harm’s way to test out a theory. If in doubt, revisit Primal Blueprint Law #9, Avoid Stupid Mistakes.

Footnotes:
BACK 1. Mark Sisson, The Primal Blueprint (Primal Nutrition Inc., 2009) page 32

Conventional Wisdom Conundrum

No Gravatar

I’m on my way to a National Association of Sports Medicine (NASM) workshop in San Francisco. For two days, I’ll be taught about the “proper” way to train clients. I’m sure that the practical side of things – learning about liability insurance for instance – will be helpful in the future, but there are some things that NASM preaches that I just can’t get over.

When I first received my NASM  text book, the first thing I did was flip to the nutrition section. Of course I did, that’s what I’m really interested in. I needed to know what I would have to “fake learn” for lack of a better term. (Does anyone actually have a term for that? If so, please let me know.) Here’s how it’s gonna work:

I know certain things to be true. They’re true for myself and for a lot of you too. They’re backed up by serious science. However, the NASM text book doesn’t seem to agree with a lot of them. Or it’s stuck in 2001 scientifically. One of these things is that excess carbs jack up your blood sugar, leading to excess insulin which makes you fat. The NASM textbook states that

“Carbohydrate intake typically should be between 50 and 70% of total caloric intake according to preference, performance and satiety.”1

Let’s address this. I don’t even need to mention the 50-70% part. Most of you are already shaking your heads over that one. But the rest of the sentence interests me. Preference: So in other words, if you prefer carbs, you should eat more. What glucose-addicted, SAD-aflicted mind doesn’t prefer carbs? Seriously. Performance: okay, that one I can get on board with. If you’re working out a lot, increasing your carbs can help with that. But getting them from sweet potatoes or broccoli is much more beneficial than chowing down on bread and cake. Satiety: This one blows my mind. Everyone knows that if you eat a lot of carbs, you’re always fucking hungry. It’s when your body starts burning fat and protein for energy that your hungry regulates. It will be easy for me to remember this particular ridiculous recommendation, because eating 50-70% carbs for my total caloric intake would fuck. me. up.

But there’s more. Here’s the real problem:

I have to learn things like soybeans are good for you, peanuts are a great source of protein, fiber should be obtained from whole grains, and saturated fat causes high cholesterol and heart disease . Even that insulin resistance is caused by excess fat in the diet. W.T.F. I have to brain dump most of what I know to be true, and try to remember shit that isn’t right. Or has been proven to be wrong. The problem is that it’s so arbitrary. They’re on the mark when it comes to some things. They’re way off on others.

How the hell do I remember what is “right” in their eyes so that I can pass the test and then brain dump it again?? I seriously need help with this one. Have any of you had to do this? What did you do?

Those of you that are asking why I’m doing a NASM course in the first place, well, the military paid for it. Plain and simple. Also, it’s nationally recognized. I can walk into any gym with that cert and they could hire me. I can’t do that with a CrossFit cert, unless I find an awesome CF box that needs people. So far, I’ve found lots of awesome boxes, but so has everyone else with a desire to train for a living. I need a job. Bad.

FOOTNOTES:

1. NASM Essentials of Personal Fitness Training, Third Edition (Lippincott Williams & Wilkins, 2008) p. 435

Can going Paleo give you Celiac disease?

No Gravatar

The short answer is no. Going Paleo isn’t going to suddenly give you a disease you never had. However, those that have undiagnosed Celiacs or gluten intolerance (so, lots of you) that consume wheat on a (let’s face it) daily basis may not be aware of the symptoms it’s causing until they remove it. They may have learned to live with nausea, fluid retention, hypoglycemia, panic attacks, arthritis or rumbly tummies, or may not even know those ailments are connected to what they’re eating. They may not even notice much of a difference when the gluten is removed. However, it’s hard to ignore what happens when the gluten is reintroduced after a period of time. Suddenly developing Celiacs or gluten intolerance is a common theme on the Paleo forums, because a lot of people may not have known they were sensitive in the first place.

About three years ago, before I had ever heard the word ‘Paleo,’ I went to see a gastroenterologist because of all the digestive issues I was having. I was certain I had Celiac disease, or at the very least, was gluten sensitive. The doctor was certain I didn’t (yet another example of doctors failing me). They didn’t do any blood tests but they did sign me up for a colonoscopy and endoscopy, which in retrospect doesn’t make any sense  - unless the doctor was trying to fulfill some surgery quota. By the time I had the surgery, I had been gluten free for several months, which was a huge mistake. They didn’t find anything. Three years later, there’s enough information on the Internet for me to find out that colonoscopys can’t diagnose Celiac disease anyway – only an endoscopy can and then only if there’s damage present. Eliminating gluten from my diet before the surgery allowed my body to heal enough so that the doctor didn’t find anything. He diagnosed me with Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), which even then I knew to be bullshit. IBS is the catch-all diagnosis when they don’t know what’s wrong with you and can’t be bothered to find out. (I encourage anyone with a diagnosis of “general IBS” to look into it further.)

Enter the Primal diet. It doesn’t allow for wheat, so for two years, I didn’t have any except on rare occasions. My cheats were usually sushi. When I did have wheat, I would have diarrhea for a day or so, then be right back on track. A little bloated, perhaps, but that went away quickly and I really didn’t connect it to what I was eating. I also didn’t connect the occasional bout of fatigue, insomnia, depression or the fact that I bruise like a peach at times either. Who would? I certainly didn’t have symptoms like bittykitty on PaleoHacks:

I had horrible mood swings, intense joint pain, endless hunger, weight gain for no reason, muscles tearing, vomiting. Now that I’ve been off [wheat] for awhile, I will actually vomit/pass blood after consuming gluten, in addition to neurological problems, stomach pains, diarrhea/constipation.

My life has been extra stressful lately. Amongst other things, we’ve lost both of our family pets recently. We have two and a half year old twin boys, who are getting their last molars and on their parent’s last nerve. We’re strapped for cash. I’ve been feeling overwhelmed in my life and my diet has slipped. Ordering a pizza or getting a sub sandwich has become more of a weekly occurrence than a monthly one. And I’ve been feeling more and more tired, more depressed, more overwhelmed, with a litany of gastrointestinal issues I’d rather not discuss. Since I’ve been constantly nauseous, I’ve cut down on the amount I eat so I haven’t gained any weight back, but I instinctively knew something was up.

www.kidsaware.co.uk has some great information on allergen-free diets for kids.

Earlier this week, I went to the bathroom and was horrified to see clay-colored poop in the bowl. (Ok, ok, people, poop is important. If you’re not looking at your poop, you should be. It’s the number one indicator of your overall health and can be the first sign of serious problems going on inside. Get over yourself. Start looking at your poop.) It was abnormal enough that it caught my attention on a primal level. Something was wrong. Google said pale or clay-colored stools can indicate serious problems with the liver and to seek immediate medical attention (yay!). For four days in a row, my poop was clay-colored. I called my doctor and made an appointment. In the meantime, I went to PaleoHacks.com and asked them to hack my poop. I was terrified my liver was shutting down. The answers I got put me at ease but left me with another problem: other people who had experienced the same thing had been diagnosed with Celiac disease. I had been eating an extraordinary amount of wheat (relative to my “normal” Primal diet) lately. It all made sense.

My new doctor took me seriously and ordered all the proper tests this time. She didn’t even bat an eyelash. When I described my symptoms, her first question to me was, “Why on earth did you start eating wheat again?” Stress was my answer. Stress, and laziness. It’s easy to slip when you’re overwhelmed and surrounded by temptation.

Andrew from Evolvify has the following to say:

My assessment of the current barometer for medical research on the effect of gluten on humans is roughly this: In the general population (those not having celiac disease or wheat allergies), gluten either causes, or is strongly correlated to a range of autoimmune and neurological disorders. Further, gluten intolerance can present with any one, or group, of symptoms or disorders with varying degrees of severity. Lastly, it is generally agreed that celiac disease and non-celiac gluten intolerance are underreported and under-diagnosed, though the numbers remain speculative.

For me, on a practical level, the correlations between autoimmune and neurological problems in the scientific literature, my personal experiences with gluten, anecdotal reports from others, and the logical framework of evolutionary biology/paleo diet is convincing enough for me to abstain from gluten.

‘Nuff said. I don’t care what those tests say – I am now hardcore about being gluten free. Let’s see what happens.

Check out a full list of symptoms of Celiac disease and gluten intolerance/sensitivity at www.celiac.com. I’ll do a post about gluten-free dining out next for those of you that need it – what you don’t know about the restaurant industry can make you really, really sick.